What a difference a year makes...

Well as I type this today it marks exactly 1 year since Sweet Ayden was born. Oh, how things have changed. Its fun and definately sentimental to look back on what Jake and I were doing last Christmas and what a precious gift we were given on this day. After experiencing possibly the longest night of my life we were blessed with a sweet boy....

Its been such an amazing year. Both challenging and wonderful. I've grown so much as a person this year. Ayden has stretched me not just as a Mom but as a wife as well. I really have a hard time remembering my life before this little boy. He has brought us such joy.

So, today we celebrate. We celebrate this little man, our health and this time of year. While at times its hard to be thankful for what we are given, today it comes very easy. We have been given the best gift of all and because of him our lives will never be the same.

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy...Mamma loves you!!!

Cast the first stone.....

First, I apologize for not posting more...I've been a bit busy the last 9.5 months :)

Up til now I've not had much on my mind to post about, sure being a new Mom is terrifying, but who wants to admit that...not me!! But recently something has come to my attention and I have to say it just makes me sad. It sort of even gets under my skin a bit too.

I am a part of one of the social networking sites. I enjoy it and its a good way for me to keep up with Jake's extended family in Chicago. As a part of this site you can "like" pages. Well, I have decided to "like" the Parenting Magazine page. I enjoy the magazine and find some helpful things in there. The magazine's page isn't the issue. Its the comments to their posts that trouble me so much. As a new Mom I guess I was naive to the fact that there are many other Mom's who would choose to judge and demean each other as opposed to encourage and support. I mean aren't we all in the same sleep deprived boat. Apparently we are not.

Its sad to me that the smallest thing that is meant to be an encouragement ends up being a firestorm of I'm a better Mom than you. It borders on ridiculous. Now, let me also say that I'm not perfect, I've had my moments of judgement, but come on. This is just sad. I'm blessed to have several very close friends who have children, so when I'm lost I know I can call them and get advice. I also know that all of us parent very differently so if their advice doesn't fit my situation they are not going to write me a scathing email about how they are doing it better because they can clean, cook, do laundry and teach their child Spanish all in one day. They are accepting and open.

I have to admit I'm intimidated. I would like to start taking Ayden on playdates, maybe join a Mom's group, but what if, what if I run into one of "those" Mom's. The Mom's that act like things are perfect and look down their perfectly powdered nose at you and your eyebrows that are grown out because getting in to have them done wasn't in the plan this week. What if????

It already sort of happens when I hear others talk about how their baby is sleeping this many hours at night, or takes this many naps during the day. I automatically think, if they knew that Ayden still wakes up sometimes at night or that we are just now working on getting him to take "scheduled" naps, what would they think? What would they say behind my back? What does that say about me as a Mom? I get frustrated, I don't think it should be this way. Motherhood is hard, really hard, whether you have one or 10, its hard work. This is the time when we should be standing together to support each other, not nit picking and cutting each other down. I guess it just doesn't make sense to me.

Because of this, I'm going to try very hard to be an encouragement to new Mom's, not judge, but be accepting and open. My prayer is that the part of the population that feels like its OK to act this way will have a wake up call. Nothing tragic just something that doesn't go right so they have to reach out and be...real. That's all. Just be real..and...KIND!

There is a new show out called "Up All Night". Its hysterical. Jake and I love it. This issue was played out nicely in the show. The main character is a working Mom and her husband stays at home. He had been taking their baby to a baby class and when the Mom started attending she did everything "wrong" and this was very much noted by one of the "mean" moms in the group. To make a long story short, after a confrontation, the main character runs into the "mean" Mom in the middle of a fight with her stroller. She can't get it to close. The main character steps into help can't get it to close either, and by the end of the scene both moms are stomping on the now broken stroller. It was a classic bonding moment. I guess that's my point. We are all one stroller malfunction away from complete chaos. So, lets be kind to each other and do some stroller stomping!

Labor of Love

Well, this post is long in coming and as most of you know I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy Ayden on Dec 26th. Its been six weeks since he was born and I swear there are days I still look at him and think oh my God, I really did this. The road was not easy, and there have been ups and downs since, but I am continually filled with more gratitude and joy than I could have ever imagined. He is perfect. That in itself is a blessing. The labor was not easy, but then I guess it wouldn't be called labor now would it. It got scary, not just for me but for Jake as well. I ended up having a C-section after 25 hours of labor. Our little boy just wasn't ready to come and my body wasn't working like it should. As I lay there knowing that this was it, I was terrified. Terrified that something would go wrong, that Jake and I would leave the hospital once again without our baby, that something would happen to me, that Jake would have to face this new journey alone. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but indulge me if you will. It was scary and hard. Ayden was faltering, my blood pressure continued to rise. The reality was things got hairy. Jake was the essence of calm, it was amazing to see his strength during this time. I know it wasn't easy for him. He did amazing!

So, now as my little one sleeps I continue to be overwhelmed by the amount of love I have for him. I'd like to tell you that the worry has stopped, but those of you that know me well know that would be a lie. I continue to worry that Ayden is ok. That is when I have to remind myself that he is God's. God blessed us with him when we thought we weren't going to be parents, so I have to remember that above all...he is God's.

I also feel blessed to have had all my 'family' around me the entire time I worked to bring our boy into the world. Knowing that they were just outside the door praying and encouraging Jake really made the difference. I was once again reminded that this group of people is invaluable in my life. Without them I'm really not sure how my life would have ended up. I love you all more than words and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I will attach some pictures so that you can meet the new man in my life. Its true that a baby changes everything, I think its changing me most. Things thatwere important before, just aren't important anymore. I am no longer defined by my education or career, but by my family that God has blessed me with. This complicates things as I am scheduled to go back to work in March, I'm not ready and right now shudder at the thought, but I am faithful that God will prepare me or open another door that will allow me to do both without one suffering. Truthfully right now, work would suffer, because there isn't anything I wouldn't do or sacrifice for my family. But as I said I am faithful and I know God will provide.

Here is Ayden Jacob: