New Perspectives....

So, as we begin a new year I'm faced with some new feelings. For the past 4 years I have dreaded the new year, mostly because there is one new year in particular that is forever burned into my memory. I have for the last four years, hidden and wished for the day to go by...quickly. This year, however, I held my head high, let the tears come and said "bring it on 2010!" What is the reason for my new found courage at facing the new year....nothing really spectacular, it mostly has to do with the ups and downs of 2009 and the disappointments that has come with that, the uncertainty at work and the dissatisfaction with my job and the inconsistencies with Jake's work, and family illnesses. And then of course there is the "big mess" from my last very long ago post.

I am ready for 2010 not because I think it is the magic year that everything is going to be "perfect" I simply see it as a fresh start. Hope I guess. Because to be honest, by the middle of December 2009 I didn't have much hope left. God and I were in the middle of a pretty good fire side chat, and I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to end. I knew how it "should" end, but the emotional part of me wanted it to end with me saying forget it and doing things my way. Now, I realize this is never a good idea, but at the time...it seemed like a good plan. Lucky for all involved that is not how the conversation ended.

I could hear God whispering to be patient, and as I've mentioned before this is always a area that I've struggled with. However, I think God and I are gonna be OK. Actually, I know we will. I know that the things that have occurred this year have a purpose, and I am committed to trusting God to see this through.

So, for me 2010 means hope. Hope that we get second, third, fourth chances. Hope that what transpired in 2009 will not be in vain, hope that Jake and I will get the one desire of our hearts that seems out of reach right now.

Hope and knowledge that God is Sovereign, He never leaves, nor does he promise life will be easy, but He does promise that we will be OK.

As we look ahead at 2010, we get refocused. We want to continue to be healthy and get out of the house more to help make that happen. We want to get more involved with our church and a small group. I personally want to grow stronger in my relationship with God and focus on trusting him more.

While these are not resolutions...I personally don't believe in them, they are statements of faith and I would ask for accountability from all of you for these things. Its easy when possibilities seem endless to be hopeful, but when things get difficult or disappointment creeps in it makes it more difficult to stay on track. So, prayers would be great.

I hope the new year brings everyone a new sense of hope and may you all be blessed this year!